"The sun has grown so very, very old. How long cold, fading death? How long?"
—Welcome to Night Vale, PTA meeting
HERE. NOW STOP ASKING AND LISTEN
Cecil: HELLO LISTENERS, I KNOW WHO TO BLAME FOR THIS GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN
Carlos: *lays hand on Cecil's shoulder* Cecil, I really don't thi-
Cecil: *pulls microphone to his face* STEvE cArlsBeRG
"And now for a brief public service announcement. Alligators. Can they kill your children? Yes."
—Welcome to Night Vale, Pilot
"Your daily shades of the sky forecast: Monday: turquoise; Tuesday: taupe; Wednesday: robin’s egg; Thursday: turquoise-taupe; Friday: coal dust; Saturday: coal dust with chances of indigo in the late afternoon; Sunday: void."
—Welcome to Night Vale, Station Management